As I look into the mirror, I see reflection of me. What else, of course, but me? It's more than just the face. In fact the voice that was silenced for the last 32 years is there, underneath now itching to surface, asking to be let out and let my voice be heard, validate myself and my feelings. I always hoped for a better ending. I didn't want to shut the door. I left an opening, hoping that my children will end up coming back to my life.
I pushed all the pain, the tiredness, the calm of new hope - a certain serenity of knowing that my babies will come back and will want to be part of my life. But I was wrong! So many years passed by, and things are not getting better. The sadness of the passage of time, so many years of quietly putting up with the emotional abuse that I endured in order to do what is good for them, but it is not good for me.
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| May we have peace on earth |
I pushed all the pain, the tiredness, the calm of new hope - a certain serenity of knowing that my babies will come back and will want to be part of my life. But I was wrong! So many years passed by, and things are not getting better. The sadness of the passage of time, so many years of quietly putting up with the emotional abuse that I endured in order to do what is good for them, but it is not good for me.
I neglected me I silenced my voice, and all the while thinking, intellectualising, that if it is good for my children, it surely must be good for me. No, it is not good for me. I must let my voice be heard, venture faith, be me, be real, ask, demand with new found strength to push the shame away. Let my story out. Let my children finally realise that their secret is out there: you are Jewish with a Jewish mother...
A mother that finally let her voice be heard and her story be told.....and you A you can't hide from the reality of your life. It will catch up with you.
Start with your mother's and your children's human rights...
A Jew and proud to be
Mom....
Feb 15 2012
YB
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