My baby my child

My heart speaks to you Baby

Heart speaks.

I do feel sad for myself. I feel cheated by you, my baby.

I loved being your mother, you made everything in the world feel for me on a deeper level.

You taught me the truth about joy and happiness, about the important things in life, and there was nothing in my life as concrete than being your mom.

I saw pure love in your eyes when you looked in my eyes. I try so hard to bring out the best in you,

to teach you how to love, I try to be an influence to you, to respect all mankind regardless of skin or religion, but you followed your begot father's footstep. The powerful influence of your mother didn't matter, you hate having a Jewish mom.

You would have preferred that she never existed. You shunt me away, Jewish mother who could never take you out of her  mind or her heart. My landscape turned in to a dry deserted land, absent of my baby child.

Baby my son, do you know how comfortable you were as a baby? How easy it was to slip into being your mother and caregiver? I enjoyed every second. The depth of the feelings that I had for you, my baby child, are absolutely divine.

Now it is so hard to be apart from you and your children  (that you would not allow me to see).

I will love you and my grandchildren (even if I will never see them).

Not just for today or tomorrow, I will love all of you, son, within my soul and forever.

Your Jewish mother....

I feel sorry for energy wasted instead of glory delight.

My heart speaks to me and I need to hear what it is telling me what can I do for you now Girl.

Bring me peace and glory to my present life. Let go of memories that bring me pain and agony.

My heart speaks.

It is telling me, "Heal me, love me, embrace me....."

23 March 1998

Your Mom
YB