I miss being your mom and grandma

I miss being your Mom

I miss being your mom. I miss hearing your voices. I miss having someone to care for, to love, to have
family gathering, to sit in the garden. I miss taking you for holidays. I never went anywhere without you.

I miss the friendship we had, the openness, the understanding. I miss being a Nana, a grandma, a Savta... I am so heart-broken... How on earth could you have turned on me like that? I keep thinking about you guys and I keep slipping to the bottom.

I am so alone.... Sometimes I think it might not matter any more. And sometimes I want to scream: Come to me my babies, I need you. In my life, so much is left out of my life without you in it. My days are no longer about getting up and going and doing good things. No, they are now a collection of little pieces of sometimes positive emotions, sometime painful emotions and sometimes in between.

Among the fragments there are you my children and grandchildren. I miss you and love you....

Oct 12, 2006



YB