I am a JEW! and proud!!

I'm a JEW! and PROUD!

It is not that God doe's not speak to

 Begot and antisemitic criminals.

They just do not listen!   

I as a Jewish Mother that lost three CHILDREN

To an Arab Father, and a bunch of Academia!

 Proudly will Cary this star of David in my Heart

Until the last breath I will take. 

With love and  high  Hopes will

Walk with my Head UP  High.

I have no Tolerant for Bigotry

 Even if it is coming from my Children

The ones I have given life too

My three children that Shun me     

Brain washed by an Arab Father 

And  the Academia! 

They where suppose to get high 

Education they got Brain washed !

I must thank the university of Toronto

Dollhouse, Colombia university, and

Carlton university the Cambridge university UK.

And the UNITED NATION the bunch

Of Antisemitic Criminals!!!

You helped an Arab Father teach hatred

And Antisemitism with your own hatred

And Bigotry toward ISRAEL! and the JEWS!!  

What can I say  As a Mom that lost

Three Children

May God forgive you.

YB.         30/1/2017

     

Ardi My Body was your first home !

Baby Ardi!  

Your first resident my Body

Your first sound of music my heart beat.

your first massage my hand caressing the baby inside me
YOU! YOU! YOU!

Your big Sister used to sing lullaby to you

thous  where the days when you loved your mom 

Before Poisson was implanted in your heart and soul 

I wish you can listen with a receptive heart to this words.

Baby A! if you know about the power of a generous heart,

You will not let a single moment pass without giving

 To your mother the pleasure to get to know her grandchildren,

Your Baby's before it will be to let! 

YB.

5/09/2016

My Grandmother.



 

My grandmother knew what life was about,

No one left her house with anempty belly,

Without getting a hug,

and without hearing her say

I LOVE YOU.

 

She touched the heart and the soul

Of everyone that met her,

but none more so than ME!

 

Her mantra was to those I may have

Wronged I ask for forgivness.

To those I may have helped,

I wish I had don more.

 

To those I neglected to help,

I ask for understanding.

To those who helped me,

I sincerely THANK YOU!

 

YB. 20/02/2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE MOTHER!

 

 

One Mother builds her children's up,

Because she knows what it's like

To be torn down. not knowing

That her children's will

Crush  her heart out!  

 

 One day she finally grasped that

 Unexpected things were always

Going to happen in her life.

And with that she realized

The only control she had

Was how she choose

To Handel them .

 

So she  made the decision to

Survive using courage,

humor and grace.

She was  the Queen

Of her own life.

The choice

Was hers! 

 

YB. 18 02/16



Everyone is my Teacher!

 

 

I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live I LEARN!

I'VE been hurt but I am Alive.

I am human, I am not perfect but

I am thankful.

 

Everyone is my Teacher. some of them I seek

Some of them I attract .

Often I learn by observing others.

I look in to my life as If it was trough

A camera, focus, focus,

 

on what's Important in life.

Capture the good, the bad

And the ugly. develop from

The negatives, if  things do not turn out

As you want them to,  take another shot!

Remember all are my Teachers.

 

YB. 18/02/16

The golden tread between loving hearts

                                    

I love you my girl child!




When you are a mother, you are walking with your heart outside your body every day of your life.
Every day of my life, in the last thirty years, my
Heart was a dry land,  a dead desert, for my only girl was absent from my life...  Nothing in my life was more thrilling than the day she was born...
And now she is back, and I am very happy, and grateful. She is wonderful,  trying really hard to make up for times lost.

Sweet girl of mine, thank you! I love you. I hope you know that I too am trying very hard. It is not easy for both of us, the anger is eating at me so this is a good time and place to say to my girl.

To you dearest child of mine: I am sorry if I am putting pressure on you. I want you to know that I acknowledge your efforts and how hard you are trying. Me too, sweet girl. I am trying, I would love us to make our relationship work.

Thank you. I love you and I am blessed that you opened your heart and soul to me and invited me to your world... Thanks. I love you, my child, for that...

May God help us both to make a go of it. Sweet heart, I am so proud of you. You are a great mother and an amazing wife, a fantastic teacher and a wonderful friend.

Please be kind to yourself: listen to your body and let me be your mom! I miss it. I love you. Let me care for you.

8 January 2013

YB

MY Healing Dream with Ardi my Baby.

A! for life I am the only mother
 you going to have

I had a healing dream with my baby, and I am looking straight into my baby's eyes.
You are my baby, and I am your Mama! Don't ever forget that Little One. 
Your sparkling eyes speak to me worthy talk.

The power of our sharing will hold till death. After all we are a mother and son! Speak to me, my boy! In my heart it rains. My eyes are dried. No more rain, I shed all of my tears. My boy has come from afar. With a phone call he took my heart. Along your first steps I knew that my love, for always,
will be yours,  my son.

I know that  I have to forgive my boy. And I am telling you in my dream: how am I to do that? And you replied, with a smile. Do not think of it, as do I deserve to be forgiven?
Ask yourself: do I deserve to be the one who always forgives?

The answer is "yes". Living in forgiveness means letting go of misery, pain, anger, getting rid of the  wounds of the heart and spirit. Then celebrate the opening of a door through which happiness, joy, and a clear vision, will enter.

Thanks, sweet son my  baby!

That was my healing dream...


January 7 2013

YB

Those who are hurt

The key to life love

Those who are hurt the most, 
Are the ones who care a lot.
For they are very sensitive,
I am thankful for the happy days,
That my faith,  and my  hopes,  allowed
Me to believe, that love will soften,
The heart of my child.
The courage  to dream,  the unbelievable dream.


And the faith, and hope, to appreciate
The miracle of Hanukah .
with my Sh and grand children
In my home.
That is a miracle of a sunrise ,
After waiting so long in the dark.
Life is a mystery!

Dec 2012 YB

Ardi Imseis Human rights Lawyer with no humanity in his heart!

Light up your heart! 

With no human rights,  for his mother,  and his children.



My son my Baby, for Each day passing by that I am not permitted

To see you, or my grand children.  slowly shapes my life.

As dripping water  shapes the mountain rocks .

baby!  as A human right lawyer, I am asking for your professional opinion.

What would you advice a mother, like me to do?

What would you advice children,  like your children, to do?



As a professional, how is it that you can not see the crime, that you are Committing

Preventing your children from having a grand mother. because she  is

JEWISH...and proud to be!

I like to meet your professors, at Colombia university. who taught you.

What would be their advice to you? ...you can't teach some thing that

You don't practise your self...baby! you are wasting your abilities

To bring peace to your heart, make your life an art of love, let your

Baby's have there birth right, a grand mother. who wants to love them.

So the human right Lawyer! when are you going to practise what you are

 Preaching? I am asking you for help what would you advise me to do?

Be kind , and know that I am your Mother! that loves you.

who would love to meet my grandchildren that I love......

YB

Dec;10 2012

For my voice can speak now

For my voice can speak now!

The rules are written for a mother.!

Love your child, attend to him for life.

No matter what. I am not welcome to my

 Child's life, I am Jewish he is an Arab.....

You never expect that he will betray you,

That 2 pounds Baby that had to stay in the

Hospital 3 month after birth that Baby.

That you lived for days  and Ninth.  never left

His side held his tiny hands, rubbed his tiny body,

cradled him  in your arms inside the incubator.

I milked my Brest to feed him mothers milk.

that was my child the boy!  I loved more than life.

The boy! that  his Father didn't want me to have

 Wanted  nothing to do with us! wanted me to abort!

He didn't care about us or wanted to be part of our life's.

To  him we were just  the  durthy  Jews!

My Élan the premature baby I give birth too

He wounded and broke my heart and my soul .

 Took  all the Joy out of my life!

I curse his Father for tempering, with

the love between, a mother! and her son.

He taught  he is above God. he is the one.

Making the rules. he will reward himself,

By punishing me by Alienating my children

Took there birth right to have a MOTHER!  .

Michel Imseis  there is neither reward ,

Nor punishment,  in  this world for you.

your Karma! will follow you for eternity.

And I will love my boy for life....

That is what  Jewish Mothers do..

Y.B

DECEMBER 6 2012

You know who you are

You know what you did , to your mom
You attacked  me like a vice's tiger
All night long  had  night  Mair's
 with vice's tigers biting me...
The pain was unbearable

vice's tigers

The 13 of October 2012 will for ever be
 Engraved  in my mind my heart and soul
 Reminded me of the 12 of October 1997
 At your wedding when you took the pearls
That I give you as a wedding present and you
Let your  girl friend put them around your neck
Rather than give your mother the Honor..

you accused me of cheating on your father
You reminded me of him the Sam abuse he
 Was putting me through, every day of  life
That I  spend  with him,  was pure hell
you are not wordy to have a mother like me.
 My wish for you to feel the pain you endured on me

 you were mysteriously a stranger who wanted
 to shred my heart and watched it  bleed
I should have gone after a wide world full
Of  beautiful people
Rather than dream of a day that my child, 
Will give me the respect and love that
 A mother should get, but no she watched her father
That was her model.....the respect will never come
My life past by and I am steel waiting......

YB
March 2012

If I could start over, would I have children again? No!

I wish I could Ignore loss.
Then the memory of what I have lost
cannot be retrieved...

Everyday from 1979 to 2012 the years that I left my ex.  
One question is always on my mind, If I had to do it all over.  Would I do it? Would I have children? No!

That is a very hard thing for me to admit too, But that is my honest answer. for all the investment that  I put in to having
 Them, the emotional, and physical abuses I went through with their father and them. I was used as a breeding vessel, a cleaning lady, a chauffeur and bread winner who never got respect from them nor their father nor his family...

My children had an evil teacher, their father, This is my true confession.
I had no reason to continue a miserable marriage, except for my children.
But the time has arrived that I could do it no more. My soul was broken...

I am allowing the world to eavesdrop intensely
On a conversation between me and my heart.
At  that point I knew if I had to do it all over again, I will not do it.
I wouldn't have children! The only child I will have would be me.
Perhaps I would have taken care of me, love me, respect me,
And believed in my heart that I deserved every moment of it.

July 7 2012

Y.B

Yesterday I drowned

Yesterday I drowned

I could admit to myself that I am very sorry having linked my life to an evil men like my ex...Michael imseis.

A brutal husband, an evil father who polluted my children's souls, and sadly it is hurting my grandchildren. who were deprived of
having a relationship with me for most of their life. Now they don't know what to do with me...

Yesterday I realized the venom he nurtured my child with. My baby girl is out in the path of distraction of her soul with hatred. I don't know what I was thinking. I feel broken, melted, shattered.
 She made me feel if I was nothing  Nonexistent... she made it clear to me...

Yesterday I drowned... Yesterday my hopes, and dreams, vanished .
Yesterday my  heart died..

25 June 2012

Y.B

Let myself down

I can't be hold my self to all the work



The bond that links family is not only one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others' lives, which was deprived of me. How can I fix it by myself? For where my heart is that is my responsibility. But where others' hearts are, is there responsibility? 

I cannot behold myself to do all the work to manage this relationship.

Before you can open the door to your heart which no one has an interest to walk through it.

Little girl, I didn't want to let you down. I am sorry. My highest purpose was as a human mother.
I wanted to justify the gift of life of all our lives. I thought we could continue the process of remaking
our relationship, but dear ones I can't do it by myself. Please be kind on my heart for it has been
fighting a battle for a long time. let us not love only in words or in talk. Let us put our words in action and make it real, encourage one another and build up one another...

You got to know that children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. Try to show your children the paths to love. It is never too late...

 6 April 2012

YB

I wish



Angel D.. thanks for lighting up my life!

It has been a very difficult day. I am at a cross road. It feels as if it is the end of the road. Are all the doors closed? Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? This world is not for a broken mother like me. I am so tired and lonely.

I went to visit Shoshana at the hospital today. Talia was there looking at her mother with so much love and care I was jealous. It made me so sad looking at her. I felt sorry for myself. I wondered what would happen if I ever need help. Would I have anyone around me?

As if I heard my ex's vioce when he used to tell me: "You were born lonely and I am going to make sure that you will die lonely." Why would anyone be so evil?

I believe in miracles as I was putting this post up. My son in law called me and told me that they are coming to visit with me this evening. A miracle comes my way after 10 years of never seeing them....Thanks angel D....

Post went up March 11 2012.

Feb 23 1993

YB
 

Parental Alienation... Brainwashing my children Ardi Imseis Shirel pegios, and Elan imseis by my ex...



As my life blooms so as my spirit 

That is how my ex... an Arab got back at me his Jewish wife for leaving him after twenty two years of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual abuses. Parental alienation is bad enough with out having the Arab and Jewish conflicts in the middle.

The systematic brainwashing, the poisoning and manipulation of my three children with the sole purpose of destroying my loving relationship that I shared with them. It doesn't always happen to man. In my case, I am the mother and my ex... did it to me. He started the alienation when we were still living together, abusing me in front of the children, calling me names, antisemitic remarks putting me down to below zero...

I never had a name...  it was dirty Jew... He and his family... His mother actually came to visit him from Israel and she told him no way she was staying with a dirty Jew in the house. He came up with the idea for me and the children to leave the house. He would rent me an apartment and when she went back home I could return to the house. That was the second time we separated. He left, went to his brother with the mother for 8 months. He did not support us. My friends did a collection and supported us food, mortgage and all other expenses. He was arrested and put in jail over night after 8 months that they were trying to serve him. The day I took him back, he was arrested.

I had no choice... I was trapped. This is my personal journey. The last time that we separated, judgment was that we would have to rent our apartments. I would have my own place, my ex would have his. And the children would stay in the house. There was no way that was possible: I had no job, lost my business,  had no money for two residents and the house.

My oldest son Elan told me if I did not leave, he would not come to the house. It was snowing and cold late evening. I had to call his father to come home and I left with understanding that once I had a place, the two little ones, Shirel and  would come back to live with me. My ex changed his mind and he started the nightmare: the brainwash. He poisoned their mind against Jews and the Western world. My son A was taken to Israel when he was underage, and was converted into Christianity without me knowing it. I found out 4 years later.


He ended up in East Jerusalem and later in Gaza for many years. He did every thing possible to alienate me from them. They shunned me totally and that is how I lost 3 children that he never wanted to have. They where all I had, and  they were my life...

Now I am living without the most important part of my life, with a broken heart,  a broken soul, and a broken spirit.

March 9 2012

YB

My Baby Boy - love you for always

My baby boy I am lonely for you

my baby boy; I feel sorry for you. How can you hate who you are and what you are?  A brainwashed child that was
taught to hate himself by the person who was supposed to love you.  He should have taught you to be proud of all that you are, including your roots. baby, my love, you may be able to hide it but in your heart you know that you hate half of yourself.

Your father knew that when he inspired you to hate anything Jewish or anything to do with Jews, he was putting poison in your heart. Is that love?  No!!

It is not in the Jewish, or Christian. or Muslim religions wherever good humans are. You are brainwashed
with an ideology, filthy with poison, of hatred, and bigotry. You were used as a bullet against your own mother, your own roots, and your own self. You are a man with no pride, no real love. You are teaching
International Laws. Perhaps it will be more appropriate for you to teach international hatred, and antisemitism. What a pity!

You are  actually walking at the university classrooms full of students to teach law and human rights. How could you, knowing that you are depriving your own children from exercising their own birth right and human rights to have their grand mother in their lives... Would the love of a Jewish grandmother be any different from the love of a Christian or a Muslim grandmother? I would love to know.

You are living a life of a liar. You are being a bigot full of hatred. That is my darling. What some Arabs do teach their children to hate anything and everything Jewish or Western... You are dishonest with your  children, your students and most important of all, to yourself, your heart and soul if you still have one.

I will  pray for you every day that some day you will see the light of love and compassion and will embrace them in your heart and soul. You broke my heart. and left me in pain that some times it feels as if it could never heal. I know it will heal one of these days. I know that we are the memories we keep in our hearts. I am trying very hard to let those memories go... I pray that my heart will never lose its sparkling shine.

Your Jewish mother and proud of it!

March 2, 2012

YB

A sad memory




Your brightened my path. Thank you, Mom.

Mama Hana resting place



For ever in my heart



 This is the time of my mother's Passing Anniversary. She passed away the 4th of April 1950 -- 62 years ago.                                                                                                                                                                                

At the Passover Jewish holiday, this is the place she was put to rest. I never witnessed her resting place until I was 33 years old. I went with the big fat man, Richard Harlow who said in a slow quiet voice, "I will go with you to Marrakesh. I will give you my love and support that you need."



He did not realize how much I needed to know that I will be supported by him. I will owe him my thanks for life. I couldn't have shared that with my X.... He was too evil to share such a holy journey with.

How wonderful it was to do it at a time in my life that I was in a secure place and felt comfort. The big fat man Richard, he was with me all the way. He stood by me. Instead of facing it alone, he was with me all the way. And for that I will forever have a special prayer for him.

I thanked him with tears raining down my face. Walking in the old Jewish cemetery was like walking on the face of the moon and very mystical. For that I thank him... This is the place...

Oct 1984

YB

My inner child

Keep your voice  heard

Little girl, when I look into your eyes, I somehow see you  as you  have  never been  seen before.

You look as if dear life depends on me listening to you  and hearing your voice. I am all ears for you, child. Lean on me. I hear you. I see trough the windows of your soul. Your eyes....they have a story to tell. It is your story. Your voice have a song to sing. It is your song.

Tell me your story! Sing me your song! When your heart is ready, take my hand. I will climb motherhood, sisterhood, paths with you in my heart. Embrace. I will step from

inhibition, caring for you little girl, to put you on a cloud of happiness, tenderness, and serenity...

Splashing with you in a warm fulfilment, alive by your side. I will stand true, ready to dance in the cold and warm river of life.

Let's dance child. Let's dream of a kinder spirit around us. Dreams are free. We may dream the impossible wishes. They may never come true but following our dreams may lead us to ourselves.

I will take care of you. No one will ever tell you to keep your voice silent... No one, for self-disclosing oneself is a gift...



Oct 17, 1994

YB

I miss being your mom and grandma

I miss being your Mom

I miss being your mom. I miss hearing your voices. I miss having someone to care for, to love, to have
family gathering, to sit in the garden. I miss taking you for holidays. I never went anywhere without you.

I miss the friendship we had, the openness, the understanding. I miss being a Nana, a grandma, a Savta... I am so heart-broken... How on earth could you have turned on me like that? I keep thinking about you guys and I keep slipping to the bottom.

I am so alone.... Sometimes I think it might not matter any more. And sometimes I want to scream: Come to me my babies, I need you. In my life, so much is left out of my life without you in it. My days are no longer about getting up and going and doing good things. No, they are now a collection of little pieces of sometimes positive emotions, sometime painful emotions and sometimes in between.

Among the fragments there are you my children and grandchildren. I miss you and love you....

Oct 12, 2006



YB