How Do I Maned My Broken Heart?

How do you maned A broken Heart? 

With Glue! will never  work!

Begin the journey by deciding

To make changes within ME!

With in my Heart.

Believe That my Children 

Are not worthy to have me as a 

Mother! perhaps they would have

Been happier with some one like there

Low life  father! who poisoned them.

Against anything JEWISH! 

With time I will heal!

YB.    25/2/2017   

How do you close the Door ??

Fire within.

The one who has no fire within can

Never warm up others! I have been

A fiery strong  women for to long!

So it is OK to give myself permission

To cry sometimes. for the pain I endured!

I have don a lot of work on my self to heal
Along the way I changed  how ever the

Memory's of my children never changed.

I do not understand how can a child wake

Up one day and decide his Mother never

EXISTED!

It is so hard for me to give up the hope
On the Dream!

That perhaps one of this days they will be back!
In my life!

How ever it is much harder giving up on the dream

 knowing that it is the only thing I ever wished 

FOR!!
How do I close the door?

 IS IT  ONLY A DREAM  OR A NIGHTMARE??  

YB.     1/2/2017

       

I am a JEW! and proud!!

I'm a JEW! and PROUD!

It is not that God doe's not speak to

 Begot and antisemitic criminals.

They just do not listen!   

I as a Jewish Mother that lost three CHILDREN

To an Arab Father, and a bunch of Academia!

 Proudly will Cary this star of David in my Heart

Until the last breath I will take. 

With love and  high  Hopes will

Walk with my Head UP  High.

I have no Tolerant for Bigotry

 Even if it is coming from my Children

The ones I have given life too

My three children that Shun me     

Brain washed by an Arab Father 

And  the Academia! 

They where suppose to get high 

Education they got Brain washed !

I must thank the university of Toronto

Dollhouse, Colombia university, and

Carlton university the Cambridge university UK.

And the UNITED NATION the bunch

Of Antisemitic Criminals!!!

You helped an Arab Father teach hatred

And Antisemitism with your own hatred

And Bigotry toward ISRAEL! and the JEWS!!  

What can I say  As a Mom that lost

Three Children

May God forgive you.

YB.         30/1/2017

     

Ardi Imseis and Shirel pegios No More Silencing your Mother!!!

Jerusalem of gold! the Jewish capital of ISRAEL!

Silence no more!

If I wan't speak up for myself it

Will cost me pieces of my heart

The longer I allow you to silence me 

The more broken heart pieces I

Will have to maned! Ardi Imseis and Shirel pegios

You may think that your Mother is

Stupid for loving you and keep

 Hopping that one of this days you 

 Realize how cruel you are for denouncing

Me just for being Jewish! find a mirror

And stand in front of it

The face looking back at you is JEWISH too!

Keeping my mouth shot  so you  can keep year 

After year Abusing me takes a toll on my soul!

I am going to be true to my feelings,

I will not cover up your nasty deed 

LET THE WORLD KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Shirel I do not think that you can teach children 

Moral values!

And Ardi I do not think that you can preach the world

On Human Rights!

PERHAPS THE UNITED NATION STANDARD

JEWS AND ISRAEL HEATERS!

  ANTISEMITIC BUNCH OF CRIMINALS!! 

YB.         25/1/2017   

Autumn night

Autumn night's are so serene,and very beautiful.

They reflect charm, and welcome Nostalgia and sadness.

Night's are longer, day's shorter, nostalgia of Autumn.

Hurt's my Poet's heart. for the people around my heart

Are simply playing the game of words .

Throwing the words that hurt's  my way   

The Pain unbearable!

At time much more than a bleeding cut 

Words that broke my heart! many times over.

That Pain  for ever  in my heart and soul

Are berried. never to be forgotten!

The power of word's is huge,

So dearest friends!!  use them with care

For some one may be hurt!! 

BY YOU!

YB.       17/10/2016

Ardi My Body was your first home !

Baby Ardi!  

Your first resident my Body

Your first sound of music my heart beat.

your first massage my hand caressing the baby inside me
YOU! YOU! YOU!

Your big Sister used to sing lullaby to you

thous  where the days when you loved your mom 

Before Poisson was implanted in your heart and soul 

I wish you can listen with a receptive heart to this words.

Baby A! if you know about the power of a generous heart,

You will not let a single moment pass without giving

 To your mother the pleasure to get to know her grandchildren,

Your Baby's before it will be to let! 

YB.

5/09/2016

Ignore loss and the memory of what you lost cannot be retrieved.

In all the times that I trusted I mad my sun turn dark

In all the times that I loved I put my sun in jeopardy

For all the days that I sacrificed , got in return zero.

But God surprised me with the gift of hope.

That mad my stars bright.

I steel am short of believing in the world around

So much sorrow,  sadness, and heartache 

It is so hard for me to believe that dreams

Really  Can come true, please God

 look at me .

Fill my heart with SMILES.

Rather than with tears.

If only because my heart 

Is so full of pain.

I know that happiness

 Is worth having

SEND-IT MY WAY!!

YB.      7/8/2016   

THE VOLTURE!

A vulture! Adam L..

Nothing stay's the same

 I trusted a guy who worked with me.

Big big mistake, never never again.

I trusted him with my life , will never dream

 that he could betrayed me like this!

I trusted a friend,  worked for  me

for 13 years hakes my computer and

Got as low as  to steel all my files

from my computer! how ugly is that? 

  I have committed the

Golden rule of trust and loyalty

But not every one has the moral values,

Apparently he did not. 

 Never again will I trust any one

Professionally again !

YB.       4/3/2016

ONE MOTHER!

 

 

One Mother builds her children's up,

Because she knows what it's like

To be torn down. not knowing

That her children's will

Crush  her heart out!  

 

 One day she finally grasped that

 Unexpected things were always

Going to happen in her life.

And with that she realized

The only control she had

Was how she choose

To Handel them .

 

So she  made the decision to

Survive using courage,

humor and grace.

She was  the Queen

Of her own life.

The choice

Was hers! 

 

YB. 18 02/16



Don't allow toxic people around

keep toxic people away from you

It is to late they are brain washed and they don't
know-it ,  You will never fit in there family life
They were raised not having you as part of there
 Family , they don't want to welcome you to there
Home not for holidays or birthdays or any family
Gathering . can you live with that? you are just a
Stranger. girl you must go quietly in to the night

After two years of trying really hard
It is not working for me ,  wouldn't   except
To be treated like an outsider? that is the way
They want to treat me .  unacceptable to me .
I am me! and I don't base my self worth
On the view of people who treat me as if I am
 A contagious daises . not even my family

I don't have to be other than me to be worthy
My worthiness is just for being me! yolland!
I am a core of love, inner goodness, and a special
Beautiful light, and any one who doesn't see
Me in that light! please  stay away from me.
Loving my self  is not a one time event ,

It is a life time exercise, and an endless  going
Process of hard work for life. it is up to you yolland !
Rap  your self with a blanket of affection, respect, and
appreciation, begin every new day with reminding
your self of your wordiness over and over again
Get emotionally honest with your self  and be guided
By your intuition.

All of the answers comes from within, from
your gut. learn from your mistakes and your past
And move forward to the tomorrows. do what Honor's
And respect you! don't allow toxic people to bring you
Down even if the are family loved ones  and friends.
Love  them  all !  but be choosy of whom is welcome
In to your world,  and your  life no place for ABUSE!

Y.B

October 2013

The power of loving your self





The power of loving  every part of yourself
Every part of your life, and every part of  your world

I had a dream to be loved

Will make you whole.
You will see the world and everything around you
with joy, comfort, sadness will be no more.

Weariness will be  rest, despair will become hope
loving my self will feel like a soft  misty rain
Will comfort me  as a rainbow or a sunshine
After the misty rain.

Dreaming of love from your family, your children
Or any one ells is no love, asking for love from others
Is no love. love is voluntarily given from the heart
It touches you so swift, and gently you are the only
One feeling its loving reassurance. and comfort

It sustains you through the hardest days
You can't demanded or force  any one to love you
You can force yourself to love you!!
It will feel like a dim twilight , a perfumed Oasis
Or a fountain singing to you

You and you alone can make yourself a live
You and you alone can cherish yourself
With dignified tenderness which  cane
Only be found in you, in your heart and spirit

 The heavens will open the gaits for you
You will see the darkness  turn in to a silver
Light the chambers of  your heart glider with
Sparkling Diamonds. little girl I have spread
My dreams under your feet, please believe

In loving yourself you are so beautiful
So made to be cherished adored and loved
till the end of time.
And many more Thanksgiving days.

YB

October 2013

What is there left to say to you my boy!

What  is there left to say now,

I am tired chasing the impossible dream

As I promised U  your name is out from all
My righting,  it was important to you that
no one will know who my son is. you said to me
I am well known  I don't want people to get to
Know my dirty laundry, but you know who you are!
 It is O.K. by you to do wrong to your mother,
 As long as people would not know it.  is  it all about you?
 What a set of values you have been  thought!


 

All of Friday let  afternoon, you ripped my heart.
Just because I asked for your phone number
So I cane keep in touch with you my son.
You mad me regret the minute, how cruel are you?
to make me feel  so much pain and revolt.   the inside
Of my heart ! Curled tightly with pain, like a uterus
Anxious to  give birth.  and you,   no mercy! no heart!
My  baby boy how can he be so cruel?

And now in  this midnight, when desperately
I am in agony, in need of care, I realise  my life
Depends on me! only me ! I must speak to
You with words  that you can understand,
I am  giving  you this words with regret, I can't
Let you pain me anymore   with your arrogance,  and hate.
I can no longer look at the ferry tell wish of having
A relation with my Son baby.

You  Don't want  to have one .  in your  word,
only on  your  terms you will have one.
You want let me  have  your  phone number, or email.
I am not allowed  to contact  you , or email  you.
Only you  can contact me. toughs were your conditions!
You  want to treat me as if I am virus , or a bacterial
Disease, that could  make you  sick. sweet baby
The only disease I have I am Jewish mother  and proud of-it.

So let me make-it easy on you dearest son ,
For my broken heart can't and want allow  you
To  abuse me, or brake my heart anymore.
It is my life, my spirit and soul. I have to take care of!
you are playing with my emotions, it is my heart you
Are shredding to peace's. it is a matter of my survival.
For me  your mother,  moving through your world
As you want me to. it will be like moving motionless
Trough a bad dream.

That is not what I had in mind when I give you life.
Yesterday you taught me what is to be a nothing!
To  you.  in your Eyes I may be a nothing but in my
Eyes I  am very  valuable, worthy , and special human!
All the tears in the world can drop down my chicks,
And you want see them or feel them, to much hate!
In your heart. you can run from your reality but
You cant hide!

when a son has love in his heart! he learns how to
Appreciate and respect  all  other human being.
That includes his mother even if she is Jewish,
at the same time  he also learns to understand
Himself  better.
SON ! you have a long way to go. you  need help.
This will be the last time you bleed my heart, yet again!
 I guess you will have to do without me in your life
unless you change your attitude towards me! !!

5 July 2013

Y.B

Ardi Imseis Human rights Lawyer with no humanity in his heart!

Light up your heart! 

With no human rights,  for his mother,  and his children.



My son my Baby, for Each day passing by that I am not permitted

To see you, or my grand children.  slowly shapes my life.

As dripping water  shapes the mountain rocks .

baby!  as A human right lawyer, I am asking for your professional opinion.

What would you advice a mother, like me to do?

What would you advice children,  like your children, to do?



As a professional, how is it that you can not see the crime, that you are Committing

Preventing your children from having a grand mother. because she  is

JEWISH...and proud to be!

I like to meet your professors, at Colombia university. who taught you.

What would be their advice to you? ...you can't teach some thing that

You don't practise your self...baby! you are wasting your abilities

To bring peace to your heart, make your life an art of love, let your

Baby's have there birth right, a grand mother. who wants to love them.

So the human right Lawyer! when are you going to practise what you are

 Preaching? I am asking you for help what would you advise me to do?

Be kind , and know that I am your Mother! that loves you.

who would love to meet my grandchildren that I love......

YB

Dec;10 2012

For my voice can speak now

For my voice can speak now!

The rules are written for a mother.!

Love your child, attend to him for life.

No matter what. I am not welcome to my

 Child's life, I am Jewish he is an Arab.....

You never expect that he will betray you,

That 2 pounds Baby that had to stay in the

Hospital 3 month after birth that Baby.

That you lived for days  and Ninth.  never left

His side held his tiny hands, rubbed his tiny body,

cradled him  in your arms inside the incubator.

I milked my Brest to feed him mothers milk.

that was my child the boy!  I loved more than life.

The boy! that  his Father didn't want me to have

 Wanted  nothing to do with us! wanted me to abort!

He didn't care about us or wanted to be part of our life's.

To  him we were just  the  durthy  Jews!

My Élan the premature baby I give birth too

He wounded and broke my heart and my soul .

 Took  all the Joy out of my life!

I curse his Father for tempering, with

the love between, a mother! and her son.

He taught  he is above God. he is the one.

Making the rules. he will reward himself,

By punishing me by Alienating my children

Took there birth right to have a MOTHER!  .

Michel Imseis  there is neither reward ,

Nor punishment,  in  this world for you.

your Karma! will follow you for eternity.

And I will love my boy for life....

That is what  Jewish Mothers do..

Y.B

DECEMBER 6 2012

You know who you are

You know what you did , to your mom
You attacked  me like a vice's tiger
All night long  had  night  Mair's
 with vice's tigers biting me...
The pain was unbearable

vice's tigers

The 13 of October 2012 will for ever be
 Engraved  in my mind my heart and soul
 Reminded me of the 12 of October 1997
 At your wedding when you took the pearls
That I give you as a wedding present and you
Let your  girl friend put them around your neck
Rather than give your mother the Honor..

you accused me of cheating on your father
You reminded me of him the Sam abuse he
 Was putting me through, every day of  life
That I  spend  with him,  was pure hell
you are not wordy to have a mother like me.
 My wish for you to feel the pain you endured on me

 you were mysteriously a stranger who wanted
 to shred my heart and watched it  bleed
I should have gone after a wide world full
Of  beautiful people
Rather than dream of a day that my child, 
Will give me the respect and love that
 A mother should get, but no she watched her father
That was her model.....the respect will never come
My life past by and I am steel waiting......

YB
March 2012

If I could start over, would I have children again? No!

I wish I could Ignore loss.
Then the memory of what I have lost
cannot be retrieved...

Everyday from 1979 to 2012 the years that I left my ex.  
One question is always on my mind, If I had to do it all over.  Would I do it? Would I have children? No!

That is a very hard thing for me to admit too, But that is my honest answer. for all the investment that  I put in to having
 Them, the emotional, and physical abuses I went through with their father and them. I was used as a breeding vessel, a cleaning lady, a chauffeur and bread winner who never got respect from them nor their father nor his family...

My children had an evil teacher, their father, This is my true confession.
I had no reason to continue a miserable marriage, except for my children.
But the time has arrived that I could do it no more. My soul was broken...

I am allowing the world to eavesdrop intensely
On a conversation between me and my heart.
At  that point I knew if I had to do it all over again, I will not do it.
I wouldn't have children! The only child I will have would be me.
Perhaps I would have taken care of me, love me, respect me,
And believed in my heart that I deserved every moment of it.

July 7 2012

Y.B

Yesterday I drowned

Yesterday I drowned

I could admit to myself that I am very sorry having linked my life to an evil men like my ex...Michael imseis.

A brutal husband, an evil father who polluted my children's souls, and sadly it is hurting my grandchildren. who were deprived of
having a relationship with me for most of their life. Now they don't know what to do with me...

Yesterday I realized the venom he nurtured my child with. My baby girl is out in the path of distraction of her soul with hatred. I don't know what I was thinking. I feel broken, melted, shattered.
 She made me feel if I was nothing  Nonexistent... she made it clear to me...

Yesterday I drowned... Yesterday my hopes, and dreams, vanished .
Yesterday my  heart died..

25 June 2012

Y.B

Let myself down

I can't be hold my self to all the work



The bond that links family is not only one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others' lives, which was deprived of me. How can I fix it by myself? For where my heart is that is my responsibility. But where others' hearts are, is there responsibility? 

I cannot behold myself to do all the work to manage this relationship.

Before you can open the door to your heart which no one has an interest to walk through it.

Little girl, I didn't want to let you down. I am sorry. My highest purpose was as a human mother.
I wanted to justify the gift of life of all our lives. I thought we could continue the process of remaking
our relationship, but dear ones I can't do it by myself. Please be kind on my heart for it has been
fighting a battle for a long time. let us not love only in words or in talk. Let us put our words in action and make it real, encourage one another and build up one another...

You got to know that children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. Try to show your children the paths to love. It is never too late...

 6 April 2012

YB

Parental Alienation... Brainwashing my children Ardi Imseis Shirel pegios, and Elan imseis by my ex...



As my life blooms so as my spirit 

That is how my ex... an Arab got back at me his Jewish wife for leaving him after twenty two years of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual abuses. Parental alienation is bad enough with out having the Arab and Jewish conflicts in the middle.

The systematic brainwashing, the poisoning and manipulation of my three children with the sole purpose of destroying my loving relationship that I shared with them. It doesn't always happen to man. In my case, I am the mother and my ex... did it to me. He started the alienation when we were still living together, abusing me in front of the children, calling me names, antisemitic remarks putting me down to below zero...

I never had a name...  it was dirty Jew... He and his family... His mother actually came to visit him from Israel and she told him no way she was staying with a dirty Jew in the house. He came up with the idea for me and the children to leave the house. He would rent me an apartment and when she went back home I could return to the house. That was the second time we separated. He left, went to his brother with the mother for 8 months. He did not support us. My friends did a collection and supported us food, mortgage and all other expenses. He was arrested and put in jail over night after 8 months that they were trying to serve him. The day I took him back, he was arrested.

I had no choice... I was trapped. This is my personal journey. The last time that we separated, judgment was that we would have to rent our apartments. I would have my own place, my ex would have his. And the children would stay in the house. There was no way that was possible: I had no job, lost my business,  had no money for two residents and the house.

My oldest son Elan told me if I did not leave, he would not come to the house. It was snowing and cold late evening. I had to call his father to come home and I left with understanding that once I had a place, the two little ones, Shirel and  would come back to live with me. My ex changed his mind and he started the nightmare: the brainwash. He poisoned their mind against Jews and the Western world. My son A was taken to Israel when he was underage, and was converted into Christianity without me knowing it. I found out 4 years later.


He ended up in East Jerusalem and later in Gaza for many years. He did every thing possible to alienate me from them. They shunned me totally and that is how I lost 3 children that he never wanted to have. They where all I had, and  they were my life...

Now I am living without the most important part of my life, with a broken heart,  a broken soul, and a broken spirit.

March 9 2012

YB

My Baby Boy - love you for always

My baby boy I am lonely for you

my baby boy; I feel sorry for you. How can you hate who you are and what you are?  A brainwashed child that was
taught to hate himself by the person who was supposed to love you.  He should have taught you to be proud of all that you are, including your roots. baby, my love, you may be able to hide it but in your heart you know that you hate half of yourself.

Your father knew that when he inspired you to hate anything Jewish or anything to do with Jews, he was putting poison in your heart. Is that love?  No!!

It is not in the Jewish, or Christian. or Muslim religions wherever good humans are. You are brainwashed
with an ideology, filthy with poison, of hatred, and bigotry. You were used as a bullet against your own mother, your own roots, and your own self. You are a man with no pride, no real love. You are teaching
International Laws. Perhaps it will be more appropriate for you to teach international hatred, and antisemitism. What a pity!

You are  actually walking at the university classrooms full of students to teach law and human rights. How could you, knowing that you are depriving your own children from exercising their own birth right and human rights to have their grand mother in their lives... Would the love of a Jewish grandmother be any different from the love of a Christian or a Muslim grandmother? I would love to know.

You are living a life of a liar. You are being a bigot full of hatred. That is my darling. What some Arabs do teach their children to hate anything and everything Jewish or Western... You are dishonest with your  children, your students and most important of all, to yourself, your heart and soul if you still have one.

I will  pray for you every day that some day you will see the light of love and compassion and will embrace them in your heart and soul. You broke my heart. and left me in pain that some times it feels as if it could never heal. I know it will heal one of these days. I know that we are the memories we keep in our hearts. I am trying very hard to let those memories go... I pray that my heart will never lose its sparkling shine.

Your Jewish mother and proud of it!

March 2, 2012

YB